The One that Got Away

So, I feel like I should have been writing this whole time. Why is it that I only feel an outpouring of creative emotion when I'm sad. Anyways, so I'm sure you'll catch up on all of the details of the last year and a couple months throughout the course of this blog, but let me go ahead and skip to the unhappy ending:

It's Over.

"Tell Garrett what he's won this time in the Game of Life.. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, he gets shit. You got it. Shit. And the traumatic experience of knowing he found 'the one' but has to let her go. Thanks for playing."

So Ash cut the cord today. I talked to her all the way to work, forty minutes away, sat in the parking garage at work, then left to come home due to a broken heart. You guys ever sit in the parking lot at work and go home? I feel like a schmuk.

Just last week we were talking about naming our children Adelaide and Vincent (Batman got shot down). We talked about how she would like her wedding band to be a thin, classy platinum band - I always loved her non-flashy style. But today, that's vanished. She says she wants to go to school in Indiana, and she doesn't want to come to Dallas. Obviously, I have become unimportant to her. So here I sit, coping again with one of life's most-asked questions: will anyone love me?

One of the few memories I have of my father is one where we went fishing at Smoke Rise Lake in North Jersey. Here I was a five-year-old child and I baited my hook with the worm, as I was taught. On the first cast, I hooked a fish that felt as big as I was. I reeled her in, all by myself, as I was taught. And then something happened which I remember to this day. When I reeled her to the dock and reached in to pull her out of the water, we shared a glance, and she came unhooked and swam away. My situation now is similar. Thank you, Ash, for giving me a glance before you unhooked yourself and swam away.

She has wings painted with gold - I knew she was a flight risk. But I didn't care. I still don't.