OK, so I just got a series of texts. Apparently, a guy named David had my phone before me because I continue to get calls for him. I received a text from a number unknown to me while minding my business at work. Here's how it went:
Texter: Hey man... Wish u were here feeding me some dick and cum...How u been?
Me (thinking a friend might be messing with me): Lol. Good. New phone. Who is this? New phone.
Texter: Fukstik in lewisville
Me: Ok that doesn't mean anything
Texter: [picture message of an old dude dressed up in a Confederate Civil War costume... with no trousers, just the top, junk a flyin' everywhere] Does this help, lol...
Me: Dude. Seriously?
Texter: Man, I got our dicks in a pic for my profile page on squirt...U don't remember me? Lol.
Me: Dude, you MUST have the wrong number. But me and my co-workers surely enjoyed that. Nice job, General Lee.
*** END OF TEXTS ***
It's true. I really wish I were making this shit up. But thank you Confederate Soldier boy named Fukstik for brightening my otherwise sad day.
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